Unfortunately, fairy tales and Hollywood happy endings perpetuate a myth of ‘happily ever after’ that simply cannot be replicated in reality. Deep down we know this, right? As any married woman will tell, the honeymoon period wears off, and a wife’s days are no longer filled with wine and roses.
You meet the man of your dreams, fall in love and get married. However, familiarity can, and often does, breed contempt. Subsequently, some of your spouse’s habits and behaviors will drive you crazy. Here are four tips to ensure that these annoying behaviors do not threaten to derail your marriage.
Communication is Key
In any marriage, communication is vital, especially if there are annoying habits that need to be resolved. So, before allowing your annoyance to build into anger, try talking to your husband about your feelings. Remember, he has no way of knowing how you feel, unless you tell him.
However, when broaching this kind of discussion, it is helpful to keep accusatory tones and language at bay. For example, saying “why do you always leave the toilet seat up?” is likely to make him defensive. Instead, try phrasing your point differently, using an ‘I’ statement. In other words, you may find, “I would prefer it if the toilet seat is kept down” is a more effective tack.
Distance Yourself From his Annoying Habits
Whenever possible, it is a good idea to remove yourself from situations that are likely to make you frustrated and angry. So, if your husband’s behavior is annoying you, take a walk around the block or go into another room.
No matter how much you love someone, it is often impossible to be around them for long periods of time. Ensure that you make time for yourself, as this is likely to reduce those feelings of annoyance.
Two Can Play That Game
If your husband does not respond to your requests to change his behavior, you may like him to experience your frustration. In other words, if you have behaviors that annoy him (and, let’s face it, you almost certainly do), try exposing him to these behaviors a little more frequently than usual.
Then, make a deal to reduce one of your annoying habits in return for him reducing one of his. The truth is, he may not realize how bothered you are by his behavior, so by giving him first-hand experience, he may be more receptive to constructive criticism and gain a willingness to change.
Say it With…Love
We all know that the male ego is a very fragile thing. Any hint of criticism, even if it is constructive, can result in a complete breakdown in communication. If your husband is particularly touchy over these matters, try a different approach. Tackling his annoying habits and behaviors while providing a bit of love and affection is more likely to win him round to your point of view.
With good communication, patience and love, it is possible to overcome the little annoyances in a marriage. However, it is always important, especially when he’s at his most annoying, to remember all the things that you love about your husband, as this will help you through the tough times.