Towards the end of his career, Sigmund Freud had to admit that he hadn’t solved the mystery of what it is that women want. Now, if you take the time to read some of Freud’s theories, it’s not hard to see why. He certainly appeared to be barking up the wrong tree. In fact, it’s difficult to imagine he’d ever met a woman, let alone spoken to one. But I digress!
We know that we can be complex and contradictory at times, don’t we? However, men are equally difficult to figure out. And working out what a man wants can be a tough mystery to crack.
Men Want the Simple Life
Nevertheless, most of us, believe we know the yearnings of a man’s soul – he wants sex, beer and a comfortable chair to watch football in (not necessarily in that order). OK, so we know that that’s not all men want, right? They also want an incredibly attractive woman, with the athleticism of an Olympic gymnast who plays hard to get, laughs at all his jokes and never challenges him intellectually. At least, that’s what a large proportion of us thinks. Is it really true?
The Thrill of the Chase is a Quick Buzz
Here’s the problem, if a man is only interested in a woman thanks to an intense physical attraction, once he has ‘won’ her, the excitement of the chase, and the challenge she posed, is over. Yes, men like to look at gorgeous women and, yes, they often enjoy flings with young attractive girls. However, when looking for a meaningful connection, many men tend to look for substance over style.
In short, if you’re confident and have a fulfilled life, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, men find this incredibly attractive, much more so than just a pretty face.
Similarly, playing ‘hard-to-get’ doesn’t work for exactly the same reason. If you’re a ‘challenge’ then the thrill of the game is over as soon as he’s got you. Instead, you want to be perpetually challenging, which is very different from being hard-to-get.
Be Interesting Rather Than Mysterious
If you want more than just the fleeting interest of a man, then you simply have to make yourself interesting. Contrary to popular belief, women who have interests, friends and hobbies, exclusive of their lover, are more likely to remain in that relationship. One of the biggest mistakes any woman can make, and we’ve probably all made it, at least once, is to drop everything and make our lover the center of our universe. He doesn’t find that attractive, he finds it clingy and suffocating.
In addition, don’t feel that you have to ‘play dumb’ in order to attract a man. I have no doubt that there are men who have a desire to feel like the intellectually superior, and/or the funny, ‘one’ in a relationship, but these aren’t the men we want to attract, right, ladies? If he’s looking for a long-term meaningful relationship, he wants a woman who is smart and funny.
The lesson is, don’t assume that all those clichés about what men want from a woman or from a relationship is right, because a lot of it is outdated bunkum.