I think we pretty much all agree that communication is key to the success of any relationship, right? I mean, if you can’t talk to your lover, discuss problems, tell each other about your hopes and dreams, laugh together (you get the picture), then what have you got? Well, probably just a raw sexual attraction and not much else.
Most of us want to be able to communicate better in our relationships. The problem is that it can sometimes seem as if men and women speak a different language. Well, despite appearances, we don’t. We just, and by ‘we’ I mean both genders, need to make an effort to understand each other a little better. How can we women play our part?
1. Don’t Use Threats
We’re very good at using emotional and sexual blackmail in order to get what we want, but if you want a relationship to last, this is really not the way to go. It’s no good telling him that you wish he’d talk to you more if, whenever a difference of opinion crops up, you tell him that it’s your way or the highway. Remain calm and remember that relationships are all about give and take, and that doesn’t mean he gives and you take!
2. Avoid Too Much Eye Contact
We see it as a sign of interest and sincerity, but men find direct eye contact threatening. As far as they are concerned, eye contact, too much of it at least, is confrontational. This can, of course, set things off on the wrong foot from the very beginning and make him defensive.
3. Be Casual in the Way you Approach the Subject of the Future
Yes, you want to know where you stand and whether there is a future in the relationship, but if you badger him with these questions, he won’t be responsive. If you want him to answer you candidly about his hopes and plans for the future, you need to bring the subject up in a casual way at a time that seems natural for the question to arise.
4. A Little Humor Goes a Long Way
I’m a huge advocate of being able to laugh at yourself and the ridiculousness of life. If you can laugh with your lover, in my experience, it’s the recipe for a successful relationship. When you talk to him, make sure it’s not only about the serious stuff of life. Heck, even if it is about the serious stuff of life, do it with humor!
5. If He Doesn’t Feel Like Talking, Let it Go
There is absolutely no point in pursuing a conversation, if he has made it clear that he’s not interested in talking. So, don’t continue to badger him. Instead, tell him it’s “ok if her doesn’t want to talk right now,” and busy yourself with other things. If he senses that you’re the anxious, nagging, sort (which none of us wants to be) he’ll be more resistant to talking with you. Play it cool and he’ll probably be the one to raise the subject again.
These are, of course, just some of the ways that you can improve communication in your relationship. Not all are easy to put into action and some will require a modification of behavior. However, the benefits will be well worth the effort.
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